Will he make it? or Will he choke?
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.
The nurse tells the first man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins!”
“What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!”
The nurse returns and tells the second man, “You are the father of triplets!”
“Wow, what a coincidence! I work for 3M Corporation!”
The nurse then tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.
“Another coincidence! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!”
At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask what’s wrong.
“What’s wrong?! I work for Seven-Up!” Courtesy of CureZone.com
It’s a damn good thing that our kids do not require us to hit a hole in one every time we tee off.
If you are like me that has never happened…
Found this page in Facebook that tried set out some “Daddy Rules” See them below.
They are quite lengthy. Heck to most of us guys a set of rules that involve 1-3 rules is asking a whole bunch but…
here this may make it a bit easier to go through after your belly is full of some great BBQ ribs and here is a little something that can help the kids and mom on father’s day. And if your desire is not ribs then maybe pizza deals.
Don’t know about you, but this Dad screwed up a few. As a matter of fact I do not know a man alive that can live up to all those rules.
Yes we all try, but sometimes try, is not good enough.
One thing the set does accomplish is to allow us to reflect on how great it is to be a dad.
Fortunately “being a Dad” can and does involve more than our own biological kids.
It is a lifestyle that all who love another can aspire to…
don’t care about your age, gender, nationality or religion.
1. Being a dad means becoming heroic!!
2. Being a dad means being a man. That means in all situations!!
3. Being a dad means understand God has big plans for you. He chose you to be the father of his child!!
4. Being a dad means making promises- and keeping them!!
5. Being a dad means being around!!
Studies show that kids without responsible fathers are more likely to experience poverty, perform poorly in school, and engage in criminal activity, premarital sex, drug abuse, and heavy alcohol consumption.
6. Being a dad means admitting your screw-ups, but not dwelling on them
7. Being a dad means providing for your family. And that can mean sleepless nights, ulcers, and low-grade fevers!!
8. Being a dad means making your child feel safe!!
9. Being a dad means telling them a little blood wont hurt them!!
10. Being a dad means telling your kids to deal with scrapes and bruises by:
A. Walk it Off
B. Blow on It
C. Run it under cold water
11. Being a dad means telling stories of adventure and bravery!!
12. Being a dad means assuring mom that growing up involves pain and suffering!!
13. Being a dad means teaching that happiness isnt a goal, but a consequence!!
14. Being a dad means having high expectations for your dad!!
15. Being a dad means being heavy. It’s your job to say NO!!
16. Being a dad means being your childs FATHER, NOT YOUR CHILDS FRIEND!! Dads who get this confused have confused kids!!
17. Being a dad means demanding peace over justice. No matter whom hit whom last!!
18. Being a dad means teaching your kids that life is unfair!!
19. Being a dad means making your kids believe they can do it themselves!!
20. Being a dad means realizing if you dont want to move into a six bedroom house you need a vasectomy!!
21. Being a dad means showing them how to stand up for their rights!
22. Being a dad means understanding that food stolen off your plate tastes better to your kids than any other food in the world!
23. Being a dad means showing your kids how to fix stuff. It helps of course, if you know how to fix stuff!
24, Being a dad means you have to get off the couch/chair!
25. Being a dad means giving your kids courage!
26. Being a dad takes balls– baseballs, footballs, soccer balls, dodge balls, basketballs, tennis balls, and other spherical or semispherical objects!
27. Being a dad means teaching your kids to stand on their own feet. Literally and philosophically!
28. Being a dad means letting them live without being the center of attention all the time!
29. Being a dad means making sure you live in a neighborhood sage enough for the kids!
30. Being a dad means having more confidence in your kids than they hae in themselves!
31. Being a dad means realizing that the only way to avoid sibling rivalry is to avoid siblings!
32. Being a dad means realizing life doesnt getany better than this. EVER!!!
33. Being a dad means understanding how dumb you are depends on the age of your children!
Be a dad means
0-6 years you know everything
6-8 years you know almost everything
8-12 years you know many things
12-16 years you know one or two things
16-20 years you know NOTHING
20-23 years you might know one or two things
23-25 years you know many things
over 25 dad knows everything
~FATHERS TO BE~
34. Being a dad means secretly panicking after hearing the news your s/o pregnant, accompanied by feels of nausea, doom, and the need to hold on to the remote control!
35. Being a dad means showing unrestrained joy at the color or her uring!
36. Being a dad means realizing one of the most important things you can do for your baby is to love his mother!
37. Being a dad means determining to in influence your child’s faith, morals, integrity, and convictions before society does!
38. Being a dad means praying for your s/o and child- ceaselessly!
39. Being a dad means being a good s/o. Kids never have a good seperation!
40. Being a dad means learning it takes 285,000$$$ to raise a childing and thinking you are screwed!
41. Being a dad means believing you have about two weeks to get this all figured out- and then. eightenn years later, realizing you still dont have it all figured out.
42. Being a dad means listening to your father-in-law talk about raising kids, regardless of what kind of fathers they were!
43. Being a dad means realizing you’ll see your s/o’s body again in about 15months! (lol)
44. Being a dad means discovering that living with a pregnant woman is a lot like living with a woman with PMS. Only she’s heavier, moodier, and the symptoms dont go away in a week!
45. Being a dad means buying your unborn baby a baseball glove while everyone else is buying teething toys and baby mobiles!
46. Being a dad means waking up in a cold sweat over the thought of your increased responsibility. That is called “delayed onset maturity”!
47. Being a dad means striking up conversations about stroller with men at the gym!
48 Being a dad means figuring out how a household can go from being a two-person family supported by two people to being a three-person family supported by one!
49. Being a dad means giving up motorcycling and parachuting. You now have responsibilities!
50. Being a dad means painting your media room pink becuz it is now the nursery!